Or is it? When I sit down and really take a good long look at myself, an honest look at myself, how could I not be angry? Things happen every day that don’t go my way and I get mad. I might feel attacked or threatened, I get mad because it is a natural reaction to life. Is it wrong? No. Is it dysfunctional? Yes, when it festers and never gets dealt with or recognized for what it is. This is exactly what I was doing with my anger, I was angry and had no way to even begin to notice.
Anger is something divine just like every other ‘good emotion or bad emotion.’ The problem is that when I reject that anger and I believe that it is something I shouldn’t have or experience, I grow angry for having it. So what really is happening is that I get angry for being angry. Do I need to tell you what a bad combination that it? Anger begins to spill out and gets directed at everyone around me, even people who don’t deserve it.
What happens when I stop rejecting my anger? What happens when I honestly embrace it? What happens when I begin to really admit that I am angry and that it is perfectly alright? I stop beating myself up for something that is natural. I begin to automatically feel less stuck in my anger and most of all stop taking it out on the world at large. I become more at peace with those around me and find that I no longer have the old familiar feelings of rage pent up inside me. It is as if the tension that used to run my life, that I didn’t know I had until after I lost it, is gone. I have begun to notice that the world really doesn’t care how angry I am at it and the angrier I got the more of it I would see in my everyday life.
So the next time you are feeling angry, try embracing it instead of denying it, rejecting it or pretending that it doesn’t exist. Notice what happens when you do. The only thing you will notice is that you will feel is the relief of anger passing through you, without the chronic stickiness. Life will feel lighter and you will be happier.
©2018 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP