​I'm free
I'm free
And freedom tastes of reality
I'm free
I'm free
An' I'm waiting for you to follow me
If I told you what it takes
To reach the highest high
You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple'
But you've been told many times before
Messiahs pointed to the door
And no one had the guts to leave the temple!
I'm free
I'm free
And freedom tastes of reality
I'm free
I'm free
An' I'm waiting for you to follow me
How can we follow?
How can we follow?
Songwriters: Pete Townshend
I'm Free lyrics © Spirit Music Group
 
 
These lyrics are a perfect expression of the joy that is quickly becoming more and more of my life. I am learning that I can have fear, I don’t have to BE fear. I can have any feeling, I am not nor do I have to BE any feeling. My feelings are not me. I am finding myself becoming less of  a slave to my ego. My ego is so constricted, and ironically that constriction has allowed me the ability to walk out of its grasp. I am starting to feel more alive every day.  I can see that my egoic self is small and has robbed me of the joy in my life. My egoic desires cannot ever be truly met, which leads me to never experience happiness except for fleeting moments. I rest in the now, I realize that I cannot be anywhere else but in this now. In this now, all my needs are met. The stillness is overwhelming. Any words I might use fall short of what I am feeling. To say peaceful is an understatement.
The lyrics speak of a Messiah that knocks on the door. Who or what is this Messiah? The Messiah is YOU. It is your “suffering”. Have you reached the point where your suffering is enough? Do you want to continue to ride the rollercoaster of your emotions and continue the torture? Can you begin to see the suffering as your ticket home to an ever constant peace that is never lost to you?
Do you have the guts to leave the temple? What temple? The temple of the ego. The temple that creates the very suffering that you are looking to free yourself from. Leaving the temple can feel nearly impossible. Chances are you have lived in this temple for most your life. It is likely that you have had glimpses, of moments of time when you have left the temple. Those times when you have realized that stillness, when all worries, concerns and feelings of separation are gone. At those times the logical mind will kick in and tell you that it time to leave and go “home”. After all, you cannot live in that world forever. How would anything get done? How can a person function in that space? What…NO PROBLEMS??? REALLY?? That just can’t be real. Life is full of problems and they need to be solved. “If I don’t worry about this stuff, who will do anything about it?”
Is it easy? Yes, you will need to practice.  Practice what? Allowing yourself to just be in the current moment over and over again. The ego will want to pull you out, and you will more than likely heed its call. Gently returning to the now is the key and when you are pulled out you return again. Repeat this process over and  over and over again.  That process holds your focus until the now is the only place you rest.
 Finally, the lyrics ask “How can we follow?” The only answer to that is, “Only if you want to.” Following is completely optional. No one will ever force you to go anywhere you don’t want to go.  

Terminal Illness...A Blessing or a Curse?

​I was talking with a colleague yesterday who works with people who were given a terminal diagnosis. No one wants to hear that they have perhaps months or less than a year to live. It is devastating for the person who receives the diagnosis and for their families. It is her job to help everyone cope with such news, and offer support to the patient and family. What is a person to do when such news is given to them? The answer to this question is the subject of this blog post.
 
When you stop to think about it we are all terminal. From the moment of our conception, we start the process of dying.  We just don’t know exactly when that will be. For the person who receives a diagnosis, that unknown becomes a bit more certain. I say ‘bit’ because even medical science as advanced and as all knowing it appears to be is still wrong. I think nearly everyone knows of or has heard of someone who has beaten the odds, or lived longer than ever expected.
The key is a person’s response to the news itself. A person can react in a positive or negative way. A negative response is a person reacting with fear, anger, and depression. A person who reacts in this manner needs to examine a few things. First, did they worry about the diagnosis before it was given? Why would they? They did not know the condition even existed (even though it existed in them before a formal diagnosis.) The only thing that changed is now they have a diagnosis. They can choose to be worried depressed or angry about it, but even if they are does it do any good? Does it change the reality of their situation? What kind of an effect do those emotions have on the body anyway? If you ever experienced any one of these emotions you already know. When you live with those emotions in the forefront of your awareness, life isn’t going to feel so good. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with feeling anxiety, anger and depression in light of such a diagnosis, it is when these feelings become so prominent in a person’s everyday life and attention it becomes unhealthy.
So Live. Live with the knowledge that we are as humans permanently impermanent. This body mind is on loan and will at some point be turned back into its rightful owner, the Creator of all that is. Let the freedom of not knowing when your last day is, allow you more latitude in your life to live without fear anger and depression. You won’t look back on your life and say things like I wish I had started that business, or I wish I had spent less time worrying about my finances or living situation. People who have experienced near death experiences overwhelmingly report such insights to their families and friends. Use these insights for your life right now and feel the joy that comes with them.
© 2018 Michael S Morris, MA LLP
Totality, LLC

It was a warm day. I was standing on the playground. Out of nowhere and for reasons that I do not know Craig started pounding on me. My parents taught me that it is wrong to hit someone. Punch after punch landed on me. Pain. I remember feeling pain. In my attempt to do no harm in return, I somehow managed to maneuver him into a headlock. When this finally happened, I was so relieved that I wasn’t being punched anymore. He tried to escape from my grasp. I squeezed tighter. Every time he flinched or gave the slightest movement, I squeezed tighter. He stopped moving. I just stood there focused on the relief.  He was tight in my unrelenting grasp with his head protruding out from underneath my right arm for what felt like forever.  No pain from the punches, a silence and a stillness that was such a relief for me to experience. I was a young child, who had no concept of strangulation, or if I had perhaps squeezed so hard that I would or could have broken his neck. To this day, I don’t know why, for some reason that I can’t explain I let him go. The moment I did his fist connected with my mouth and I felt immediate pain and the warmth of blood rushing in to my mouth.  He ran away.
So what is in this for me? What do I get to see from this memory in my life? The physical body is just that. He could hurt my physical self but he cannot destroy, hurt, mutilate, or touch the eternal part of me that cannot be hurt or destroyed. A physical body is what it is… a limited thing with a finite existence. Letting him go from my grasp shows me that at a very early age I understood this idea. I can feel all the emotions of that painful day and still be here to BE HERE. I can take pleasure and feel good in the knowing that I possessed that wisdom from a very early age.  This is something that I need to allow myself to know and remember always.  More importantly, I need to allow myself to BE this daily and in each and every moment of my life.

 ​What is this idea of relaxing into the truth anyway? Relaxing into what?? What is the truth that I am relaxing into? What is progressive about this journey into truth?
 
As human beings we are taught that we have an identity. We have to make plans on what we are going to do with our lives and set goals. We have very real lives that need very real attention. We then get caught up in knowing where we are heading, predicting our futures and making all kinds of plans based off of our calculations. Things better go as planned, or we can have good reason to become angry, scared and depressed or all of the above.
After 56 years of my life I am starting to see is the truth of my life. The truth is I DON’T know. I have no answers. I can say with a great deal of certainty that I am relaxing into something that I can’t define with words. I am relaxing into something that has no existence outside of me and yet is not separate from me in any way. It is a realization and a growing comfort of settling into something that cannot be defined, quantified, or contacted through human senses. It seems to defy logic and cannot be comprehended by my puny intellect.
At the outset of this journey I would experience a great deal of fear and anger. Really?? NOT knowing??? You’ve got to be kidding me. Lots of fear comes up around this idea because as functional human beings we are not supposed to not know. The truth is, I don’t know who I am. The truth is I don’t know exactly where I am going. The truth is I am not absolutely in control of my life.  These are and can be very scary propositions, hard pills for human beings to swallow. All I can really say is that I can fight these ideas all I want, get as angry as humanly possible, and it never really changes anything. All it does is leave me angry and afraid. Exhausted and hung out to dry, never moving off some imaginary starting line, I would continue to fight over and over again only to end up in the same place. I was on a spiritual treadmill that leads to nowhere.
And yet when I actually ALLOW myself to experience the possibility that I in fact don’t know who I am, that I don’t need to control every aspect of my life, that there is nothing I need to defend myself, either for or against anyone or anything, something begins to open up inside me. Instead of fighting, I can begin to relax. My struggle against my not knowing-ness allowed me to see that the struggle itself was painful and allowed me to finally relinquish the fight.  The analogy is how long do you beat your head into the wall before you finally realize that it hurts and you don’t want to do that anymore.
 
I am not saying that goals are wasteful, or that it is wrong to try to accomplish things in your life that you want to achieve. I am suggesting that if you can allow yourself to not know or need to control every microscopic detail of your life, it could be a good start. Detours in plans are often what make life interesting and exciting. Being flexible can be fun. Are there things about you that you don’t understand?  If so, and I am sure there are, be open to the idea that you don’t know everything about yourself. Allow yourself to be open to the idea that you don’t know every fact about what you see happening in life. Take a moment to let yourself realize that things are often not what they appear to be. Allow yourself the possibility that you might be wrong about something you think you know. All of these ideas will permit you to settle into the idea that it is possible to live your life without struggle. See what happens when you no longer have to fight with everything that gets presented to you.  You will be pleasantly surprised.
©2018 Michael S. Morris, MA LLP
Totality, LLC
 

​Lack is an interesting word. The dictionary defines Lack as the state of being without or not having enough of something.  Lack can be present in our lives in so many ways, Time, Money, Power, just to name a few ways lack can show itself to us in our lives. When we feel a sense of lack it can have a profound effect on our psyche leading us to feel depressed, angry, powerless, and anxious.
Is lack real?? If so what can we do with it to change its ‘power over our psyche’.
So let’s examine Lack by the following example:
The Atlantic Ocean is an abundant source of water. If you bring a container such as a thimble, and you scoop up the water you will get nothing more than a thimble full of water, any excess that may try to collect in the thimble will simply run off and find its way back to the ocean. Bring a cup and you will get nothing more than a cup full. Bring a bucket and get only that much. Bring a tanker and only get as much as the tanker can hold.  The point is that you will only get as much water as your vessel and hold.  Human beings are sometimes referred to as vessels or a container capable of being filled with blessings and abundance. Being a vessel how much can we hold? When our vessel is full (full of ego) are we in a position to receive or feel abundance? Egoic feelings such as anxiety, anger, and depression are filling our vessel, preventing us from experiencing the ever present abundance here now. Furthermore if we are full of fear, depression, and anger we will act in accordance with these feelings. The result? a growing and deeper feeling of lack. If a person (vessel) is full of ego does this mean that they are not abundant, or cannot be abundant? No. Plenty of people are full of ego and have abundance. What would be interesting to asses in such people is how happy or unhappy they are in the midst of their abundance.
Is the universe abundant? YES.  It is set up that way. If I were to walk next to you and breathe heavily, would you feel threatened, fearful that I would use up all of your air?? No. You realize that there is plenty of air and do not need to be concerned. You don’t formulate a story in your mind that air is lacking. Arguably you could, but feel the implications of such a belief.  How would it feel to believe that lack of air is real? Ego in its preoccupation with the future operates under the premise that there is never enough. Lack is an illusion, only as real as you would believe it to be. The invitation is to allow yourself to let ego be ego and open up to the possibility of becoming an empty vessel. Realize that in this moment everything that is needed is present and here now. Experience the feelings and sensations that this idea brings. You will be pleasantly surprised.
© 2018 Michael S Morris, MA LLP
Totality, LLC

​My inner victim thinks that it knows everything. What I need, what I want, what must happen what must never happen. Really?? Why yes, of course it does. Just ask it. It knows what is best for me. It knows what I want. It calls the shots in my life. My inner victim thinks it has everything under control. My inner victim thinks it knows the meaning of everything that happens happened and ever will happen to me. My inner victim compensates for its own insecurity with a feigned sense of security designed to make me feel safe. When I rest my consciousness into that I feel alright for a few moments only to go back to feeling awful.
 
At this point I have a choice. I can keep my attention on my inner victim or I can keep my attention on God. I, like everyone, am a child of God. It’s funny; I have less of a sense of “security” when my attention is with God. However, this lack of security is somehow pleasantly different.  When I reflect on my life, I can see that what I thought was right for me actually wasn’t. I am where I am in my life and can see that while it isn’t anything like I would have imagined, I can see that it I am far better off than if I were ‘calling the shots.’ Something has been running my life far better than I ever could. That something is God. As a child of the creator of all that is, I have access to God’s higher wisdom, provided that I can see past my inner victim long enough to gain access to it. I can allow myself to not feel so pressured that everything in life is all up to me and only me. I have a co-creator who has always had my back and continues to have my back, even if I don’t think so. When I live with this realization, I feel a sense of peace far greater than what my inner victim could ever offer. When I forget this idea, I panic. I have lived long enough with panic, so I will choose God and the peace that comes with it.
©2018 Michael Morris, MA LLP
Totality, LLC

​There is a song performed by Edwin Starr titled “War” and it is worth taking some time to read the lyrics. For the sake of this post I would like to have you indulge me by letting me take the liberty of equating the words “WAR” and “ANGER” to be one and the same. War, in my opinion is the ultimate outward expression of anger in its most graphic form. You might even want to search the song on YouTube and listen to it.
Performed by:  Edwin Starr
War lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
 
War, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
War, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, why'all
War, huh, good god
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
Oh, war, I despise
'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives
War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go to fight
And lose their lives
I said, war, huh good god, why'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing say it again
War, whoa, lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
it ain't nothing but a heart-breaker
(War) friend only to the undertaker
Oh, war it's an enemy to all mankind
The point of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest
Within the younger generation
Induction then destruction
Who wants to die, ah, war-huh, good god why'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it, say it, say it
War, huh
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing listen to me
it ain't nothing but a heart breaker
(War) it's got one friend that's the undertaker
Oh, war, has shattered many a young mans dreams
Made him disabled, bitter and mean
Life is much to short and precious
To spend fighting wars these days
War can't give life
It can only take it away
Oh, war, huh good god why'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing say it again
whoa, lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing listen to me
it ain't nothing but a heart breaker
(War) friend only to the undertaker
Peace, love and understanding
Tell me, is there no place for them today
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But lord knows there's got to be a better way
Oh, war, huh good god why'all
What is it good for you tell me
Say it, say it, say it, say it
huh good god why'all
What is it good for
Stand up and shout it nothing
Songwriters: Barret Strong / Norman Whitfield
War lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
 
 When you read these lyrics, on the surface every word of these lyrics appears true. However, with regard to life in its infinite wisdom and glory, nothing is ever wasted or completely useless. To quote Edwin, “absolutely nothing” may not be completely accurate. What can anger be good for? The purpose of this post is to explore what might actually be useful or good about anger.
When we feel angry, it is because someone has wronged us, we feel that something has not gone the way we expected. There are so many reasons to be angry. Look through your own life and pick out the reasons you have.
Have you ever stopped to examine exactly why you feel angry? What are your beliefs behind the anger? Do you feel wronged? Threatened? Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of by someone?  Is there fear that underlies your anger? Do you feel the need to ‘get even’?
When you look at what lies beneath your anger in an honest and open manner, you can begin to make some important observations about what ideas or beliefs may be running your life. Whatever emotion triggers you realize that it is the ego’s knock on the spiritual door and use it as an opportunity to foster your emotional growth and maturity. Allowing yourself the ability to explore the reasons for your anger will begin to expose the answer to the all important question, “what’s on your agenda?” Perhaps it is the need to be right, or a fear that if someone has what you want, there may not be any or enough for you. Feel the full depth and breadth of your anger, and allow yourself to become friendly with it, and simply be the observer of it. As the observer, you begin to shine the light of awareness on the emotion. Over time this will create a powerful change in your life.  Let the gift of time show you what benefits are heading your way as you do.
©  2018 Michael S. Morris, MA,
Totality, LLC

​Me Angry?? Really?? NO WAY. I’m not angry, I never get angry. Oh sure I might feel put out sometimes but I never get angry. Anger is for people who are not evolved, right? Anger is for the “Hey you pissed me off and now you’re gonna pay” kinda person and that isn’t me. Nope. That’s not me at all.
Or is it? When I sit down and really take a good long look at myself, an honest look at myself, how could I not be angry? Things happen every day that don’t go my way and I get mad. I might feel attacked or threatened, I get mad because it is a natural reaction to life. Is it wrong? No. Is it dysfunctional? Yes, when it festers and never gets dealt with or recognized for what it is.  This is exactly what I was doing with my anger, I was angry and had no way to even begin to notice.
Anger is something divine just like every other ‘good emotion or bad emotion.’ The problem is that when I reject that anger and I believe that it is something I shouldn’t have or experience, I grow angry for having it. So what really is happening is that I get angry for being angry. Do I need to tell you what a bad combination that it? Anger begins to spill out and gets directed at everyone around me, even people who don’t deserve it.
What happens when I stop rejecting my anger? What happens when I honestly embrace it? What happens when I begin to really admit that I am angry and that it is perfectly alright? I stop beating myself up for something that is natural. I begin to automatically feel less stuck in my anger and most of all stop taking it out on the world at large. I become more at peace with those around me and find that I no longer have the old familiar feelings of rage pent up inside me. It is as if the tension that used to run my life, that I didn’t know I had until after I lost it, is gone. I have begun to notice that the world really doesn’t care how angry I am at it and the angrier I got the more of it I would see in my everyday life.
So the next time you are feeling angry, try embracing it instead of denying it , rejecting it or pretending that it doesn’t exist. Notice what happens when you do. The only thing you will notice is that you will feel is the relief of anger passing through you, without the chronic stickiness. Life will feel lighter and you will be happier.
©2018 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP
Totality, LLC
 

​A heavy and depressed sour mood has robbed me of my happiness for my entire life. I have worried about so many things and what is ironic is that all of my worries have amounted to absolutely nothing. I am still here regardless of what my worries have been. The only thing I have accomplished by being depressed and worried and sour is I have only put needless pressure on myself and destroying any chance feeling the joy and happiness that is here in any given moment. I have come to the conclusion that my life really doesn’t care how much I worry about it. When I view my life through the lens of worry and fear, all I only will observe the very things that already confirm what I feel. It is sort of like taking an exam and getting 97% and being devastated upset that you didn’t get 100. I am not saying that it is wrong to be upset about not getting 100, but when that point gets belabored and it is all that you focus on, is when it becomes harmful.
 I remember when I started my business, I met with a marketing specialist. Over lunch as he asked me questions about what I do and my approach to psychological wellness. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I was “drowning” from a business and financial perspective. I was convinced that I was not going to make it and that I would be out of business and not survive the first year.  Today, I am still in business entering my third year.  Drowning?? REALLY??? No, not at all.
When we have a negative mindset, we will begin to take actions based on our negative beliefs and mindset. Actions taken from this perspective will only create more problems and ultimately do more harm than good. Life is what we make of it. In short it is not only okay to be happy, but it is advisable. Try being happy, it is simply a choice, one that is just as easy to make as being depressed and sour, and habit forming too.
​©2018 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP
Totality, LLC
 

​
There is an old Yiddish expression, make a plan and God laughs. As a child and up through my early adult years I had a plan of being an electrical engineer. As far back as I can remember I was fascinated with electronic circuits and technology. I wanted to know how television sets and radios worked. In college, I had visions of working for high tech companies like IBM and HP. I wanted to be the person responsible for patenting the next big thing that everybody uses.

As far back as i can remember I had anxiety and depression. I walked around afraid of literally everything and everybody. The constant knot in my stomach was pure torture. I HATED how I felt. I tried to get help for myself, I saw dozens of therapists and went on several prescription medications. Nothing helped. I so desperately wanted to be free of my anxiety; I could see no other solution other than death. So I walked around with a death wish wanting to make my ending look more like a tragedy rather than a pllanned suicide. I was a master at doing the stupid things to put me in harm's way

For as much as I wanted to die, for some reason, so many people would come to me and talk to me about their problems and pain. Ironically it was ME who was talking others out of suicide.

When I was in my sophomore year of college I was scheduled to start my first term of engineering courses. I failed all of them. My childhood plan was over and even more impactful to me is that I felt that my life was over. Devistated, I had to pick another career path, but did not know what to choose. I remember going through the course catalogue of majors offered at Michigan State University. I was starting to panic when I was getting close to the end of the list and had not picked anything. I then read the word"PSYCHOLOGY' and somethig inside of me clicked. I began to reflect on my life remembering how people thanked me for talking to them in their time of need, and how I profoundly helped them. I reflected on how despite the fact that I was anxious around people, I always felt a deep love and connection towards others.

I have been a licensed therapist for thirty years now. I have learned so much about suffering from living a lifetime full of it. I have had the honor and privilege to have helped and continue to be of service to so many people. I know now that we are divine beings who can learn to understand that in life pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. If I can help another soul achieve their personal freedom and find the beauty and joy in life itself, that is why I do what I do.
​©2017 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP
Totality, LLC