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Anger...What is it Good For?

2/22/2018

There is a song performed by Edwin Starr titled “War” and it is worth taking some time to read the lyrics. For the sake of this post I would like to have you indulge me by letting me take the liberty of equating the words “WAR” and “ANGER” to be one and the same. War, in my opinion is the ultimate outward expression of anger in its most graphic form. You might even want to search the song on YouTube and listen to it.
Performed by: Edwin Starr
War lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

War, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
War, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, why'all
War, huh, good god
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
Oh, war, I despise
'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives
War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go to fight
And lose their lives
I said, war, huh good god, why'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing say it again
War, whoa, lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing, listen to me
it ain't nothing but a heart-breaker
(War) friend only to the undertaker
Oh, war it's an enemy to all mankind
The point of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest
Within the younger generation
Induction then destruction
Who wants to die, ah, war-huh, good god why'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it, say it, say it
War, huh
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing listen to me
it ain't nothing but a heart breaker
(War) it's got one friend that's the undertaker
Oh, war, has shattered many a young mans dreams
Made him disabled, bitter and mean
Life is much to short and precious
To spend fighting wars these days
War can't give life
It can only take it away
Oh, war, huh good god why'all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing say it again
whoa, lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing listen to me
it ain't nothing but a heart breaker
(War) friend only to the undertaker
Peace, love and understanding
Tell me, is there no place for them today
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But lord knows there's got to be a better way
Oh, war, huh good god why'all
What is it good for you tell me
Say it, say it, say it, say it
huh good god why'all
What is it good for
Stand up and shout it nothing
Songwriters: Barret Strong / Norman Whitfield
War lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

When you read these lyrics, on the surface every word of these lyrics appears true. However, with regard to life in its infinite wisdom and glory, nothing is ever wasted or completely useless. To quote Edwin, “absolutely nothing” may not be completely accurate. What can anger be good for? The purpose of this post is to explore what might actually be useful or good about anger.
When we feel angry, it is because someone has wronged us, we feel that something has not gone the way we expected. There are so many reasons to be angry. Look through your own life and pick out the reasons you have.
Have you ever stopped to examine exactly why you feel angry? What are your beliefs behind the anger? Do you feel wronged? Threatened? Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of by someone? Is there fear that underlies your anger? Do you feel the need to ‘get even’?
When you look at what lies beneath your anger in an honest and open manner, you can begin to make some important observations about what ideas or beliefs may be running your life. Whatever emotion triggers you realize that it is the ego’s knock on the spiritual door and use it as an opportunity to foster your emotional growth and maturity. Allowing yourself the ability to explore the reasons for your anger will begin to expose the answer to the all important question, “what’s on your agenda?” Perhaps it is the need to be right, or a fear that if someone has what you want, there may not be any or enough for you. Feel the full depth and breadth of your anger, and allow yourself to become friendly with it, and simply be the observer of it. As the observer, you begin to shine the light of awareness on the emotion. Over time this will create a powerful change in your life. Let the gift of time show you what benefits are heading your way as you do.
© 2018 Michael S. Morris, MA,
Totality, LLC

My Sweet Anger and How We Became Best Friends

2/8/2018

Me Angry?? Really?? NO WAY. I’m not angry, I never get angry. Oh sure I might feel put out sometimes but I never get angry. Anger is for people who are not evolved, right? Anger is for the “Hey you pissed me off and now you’re gonna pay” kinda person and that isn’t me. Nope. That’s not me at all.
Or is it? When I sit down and really take a good long look at myself, an honest look at myself, how could I not be angry? Things happen every day that don’t go my way and I get mad. I might feel attacked or threatened, I get mad because it is a natural reaction to life. Is it wrong? No. Is it dysfunctional? Yes, when it festers and never gets dealt with or recognized for what it is. This is exactly what I was doing with my anger, I was angry and had no way to even begin to notice.
Anger is something divine just like every other ‘good emotion or bad emotion.’ The problem is that when I reject that anger and I believe that it is something I shouldn’t have or experience, I grow angry for having it. So what really is happening is that I get angry for being angry. Do I need to tell you what a bad combination that it? Anger begins to spill out and gets directed at everyone around me, even people who don’t deserve it.
What happens when I stop rejecting my anger? What happens when I honestly embrace it? What happens when I begin to really admit that I am angry and that it is perfectly alright? I stop beating myself up for something that is natural. I begin to automatically feel less stuck in my anger and most of all stop taking it out on the world at large. I become more at peace with those around me and find that I no longer have the old familiar feelings of rage pent up inside me. It is as if the tension that used to run my life, that I didn’t know I had until after I lost it, is gone. I have begun to notice that the world really doesn’t care how angry I am at it and the angrier I got the more of it I would see in my everyday life.
So the next time you are feeling angry, try embracing it instead of denying it , rejecting it or pretending that it doesn’t exist. Notice what happens when you do. The only thing you will notice is that you will feel is the relief of anger passing through you, without the chronic stickiness. Life will feel lighter and you will be happier.
©2018 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP
Totality, LLC

A Heavy and Depressed Mood....

2/1/2018

A heavy and depressed sour mood has robbed me of my happiness for my entire life. I have worried about so many things and what is ironic is that all of my worries have amounted to absolutely nothing. I am still here regardless of what my worries have been. The only thing I have accomplished by being depressed and worried and sour is I have only put needless pressure on myself and destroying any chance feeling the joy and happiness that is here in any given moment. I have come to the conclusion that my life really doesn’t care how much I worry about it. When I view my life through the lens of worry and fear, all I only will observe the very things that already confirm what I feel. It is sort of like taking an exam and getting 97% and being devastated upset that you didn’t get 100. I am not saying that it is wrong to be upset about not getting 100, but when that point gets belabored and it is all that you focus on, is when it becomes harmful.
I remember when I started my business, I met with a marketing specialist. Over lunch as he asked me questions about what I do and my approach to psychological wellness. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I was “drowning” from a business and financial perspective. I was convinced that I was not going to make it and that I would be out of business and not survive the first year. Today, I am still in business entering my third year. Drowning?? REALLY??? No, not at all.
When we have a negative mindset, we will begin to take actions based on our negative beliefs and mindset. Actions taken from this perspective will only create more problems and ultimately do more harm than good. Life is what we make of it. In short it is not only okay to be happy, but it is advisable. Try being happy, it is simply a choice, one that is just as easy to make as being depressed and sour, and habit forming too.
©2018 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP
Totality, LLC