​I was speaking with my cousin who recently attended a funeral of a very dear and close friend. She was telling me that everyone in attendance was commenting that they could feel a palpable and deep sense of connection with the person who passed away. She went on to describe how this person lived her life. Always joyous, always reaching out to others, an uplifting and positive person. She stated how "everyone in the room including herself, were noticing that not only could they could feel the presence of the departed soul, but also had a deep feeling of connection with everyone who was in the room at the time." She told me that "since the time of the funeral she has been trying to reconnect with that feeling, but was unable to because the woman who died is no longer alive. She related to me how depressed she has been feeling since the funeral. What my cousin was saying is that wonderful feeling of connection existed ONLY BECAUSE of the person who died.  At this point in the conversation with her, I couldn't help myself. I asked her to consider the possibility that what if that sense of connection existed because of HER and that it was HER presence that made that feeling possible. She paused and after a few moments of silence, said, "that silly grin is back on my face, and I feel really good." I then asked her to let herself return to the belief that the only reason the feeling exists is because of the departed soul. After a few moments of silence she said, I feel really depressed again. After another pause my cousin said, so I can feel that sense of joy and connection anytime??? The answer to this question is a resounding YES. My cousin went on to say that she feels selfish and guilty for allowing herself to have that level of joy. That she isn't "qualified to feel that way, or that it is reserved for special people like her dearly departed friend. After a few more moments of contemplation and questions from me she was able to say, "I guess it is alright for me to be happy after all." 
It took the death of a beloved friend to help my cousin realize that it is alright to be happy and joyful. Perhaps it was this departed person's mission to help people like my cousin realize that suffering is a choice. So in this moment, why not allow yourself to have it all??
©2017 Michael S. Morris, MA, LLP
Totality, LLC
 
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